


Three Months

by ATTHS_TWICE



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caring, Comfort, Conversations, Crying, Death, Depression, Eating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s08e15 DeadAlive, F/M, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Sad, Tea, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26432809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATTHS_TWICE/pseuds/ATTHS_TWICE
Summary: Between the three months we saw everyone at Mulder's funeral, until we see them again, what happened? How did everyone cope with missing someone they love? How did they help Scully in her time of grief?
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 38
Kudos: 64
Collections: X-Files Episode Fanfic Exchange (2020)





	1. November

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TabithaJean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TabithaJean/gifts).



> For TabithaJean who asked for the prompt: "What happens in the three months between Mulder's funeral and the discovery of Billy Miles' body?" 
> 
> I loved this prompt and dear god, did watching this episode and TINH just absolutely gut me, But oh, in such a good way. Scully is just so incredibly sad and amazing during this time and I just want to hug her and tell her it's going to be okay in the end. 
> 
> As there are three missing months, well the story must be told in three parts... or four as is the case with this one. 
> 
> Narelle- I hope you enjoy this story I created. ❤
> 
> Thank you to Untilwefindit for being my beta and laughing at the crazy mistakes I made as I wrote like a madwoman to get this finished. It's nearly 5, I almost did it! 😊

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens in the first few weeks after Mulder's funeral? How did Scully cope?

_November 2000_

The door closed and Scully leaned heavily against it. She was exhausted, all the way down to her bones. She felt empty and drained, not sure she could move from where she stood, debating the idea of dropping to the ground and curling up into a ball right there on the floor. 

Letting out a deep breath, she pushed off the door and took an unsteady step forward. That small effort felt Herculean as she continued to walk zombie-like into her apartment. She removed her shoes along the way, dropped her coat onto the floor, and took off the clothes she had worn that day, which she never wanted to see or wear again. Throwing them onto the floor in the spare room, she walked into her bedroom in her underwear. 

Pulling the blankets back, pushing any unwanted pillows out of the way, she laid down, her heart aching. Taking great gulping breaths, she let the tears fall, the ones she had tried to hold back all day, her head now pounding from the effort. 

Gone. Not missing. But _gone._ They had buried him today, six feet into the frozen ground. Buried. Dead. 

Crying harder, his name falling from her lips, she fell into a troubled sleep. She dreamed of him, hurt and tortured, calling for her, alone, cold, and naked. The wounds on his body, prominent and horrifying. 

Then he was there, in her kitchen, the early morning light streaming in as he came over to her and she reached for him. He was warm to the touch and he smelled like Mulder as he grinned at her, saying her name softly.

“Don’t leave me,” she whispered desperately, holding onto his face, the dark scratchy stubble familiar beneath her fingers, and he frowned.

“Why would I ever do that?” he asked incredulously, shaking his head as he stroked her cheek. 

“Because you did, Mulder. You did. Don’t leave me again.”

“Never, Scully. You’re stuck with me forever.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss her and she woke up with a gasp, her hands reaching out for him. 

But he was not there and it was not warm and sunny in her room. It was dark and she was alone in bed, cold and shivering violently. Tears began to fall again and then she was sobbing, clutching the sheets in her hands. 

___________________

She stayed in bed the next day, only rising to use the bathroom and get something to drink. Her stomach was sour, the thought of food causing her to gag. She knew she needed to eat, but she had no energy or desire to try. 

At noon the next day, she woke to the sound of the front door opening and for a second, she thought it was Mulder. Her heart leapt and she turned over, expecting to see his goofy grin, telling her about a case, his excitement contagious. 

Her mother appeared in the doorway and Scully began to cry, her heart sinking, feeling as though it was six feet under, leaving her empty. Hollow. 

Deep sobs broke from her body and her mother was walking toward her, whispered apologies as she got into the bed and wrapped her arms around her. Scully cried harder, clinging to her mother, though she was not the person she wanted to be holding her. 

They had so little time, their relationship so new when he was taken and now… 

“It’s not fair,” she cried and her mother murmured in her ear, crying with her and holding her close. 

_____________________

A couple of days later, the meal her mother had brought over and then called to check it was being eaten, was reheating in the microwave. She stood in front of it, waiting as the time ran out, feeling completely exhausted and that had been the only productive thing she had done for the day. 

“You have to eat, Dana. If not for you, then for the baby.” 

“I know, Mom,” Scully had said with a sigh when she had called to ask about the meal. “I just…” 

“I know, honey… but you have to. For Fox.” 

“Mom… please…” 

Wiping at her eyes, she heard the microwave stop and she put the tissue in the pocket of her robe. Taking out the plate of food, she set it on the table and stared at it, her mind disgusted by it, even as her stomach growled. 

Picking it up, she was about to scrape it into the sink, a lie to tell her mother already decided on, when she heard a soft knock at the door. Frowning, she looked at the clock and was surprised to find it was only 8:45. Setting her plate on the side of the sink, she walked to the door, and checked to see who was standing on the other side. 

Skinner. 

Tightening her robe, she opened the door and stared up at him. He held a small vase of flowers in his hands and a sheepish smile on his face. 

“I know it’s late and… you might not want company, but… I just wanted to be sure you were okay. Well, not okay. But…” 

She smiled sadly and gestured him to the table, closing the door and brushing back her hair. God, it felt dirty. When had she last showered? Shaking her head, she sighed and joined Skinner at the table. 

“Were you about to eat? That smells good.” He set the flowers down and smiled at her. 

“Uh… I… uh…” She shook her head and he nodded solemnly. 

“You need to eat, Dana. At least for the baby.” 

“Are you and my mother contacting one another?” she said, her tone harsh as she crossed her arms. 

“No,” he answered with a sigh. “I haven’t spoken to her, but we both are obviously concerned about you.” She let out a breath and shook her head as she looked down, knowing he was being honest, but feeling annoyed by it. 

“Dana…” he said quietly and she looked up. 

“Do you want me to make you a plate? I have more than I’ll ever eat.” He looked at her and took a deep breath. 

“I won’t say no to some food... as long as you join me.” He waited and she finally relented with a nod. “You sit. I can get it.” 

He picked up the plate beside the sink and handed it to her, giving her a stern look. Taking it from him, she sat down and waited while he dished up and warmed his own. Sitting across from her, they ate in silence. She kept her bites small as her stomach churned. 

“Thank you for the flowers,” she said softly and he nodded. 

“I didn’t know what to say,” he said quietly. “I thought flowers might help.” She nodded, attempting a smile. He sighed and set his fork down, staring at her as he shook his head. 

“I’m so sorry, Dana. For losing him that first day…. for being too late to save him. I…” He shook his head again as tears filled her eyes. 

“It’s not your fault,” she said through her tears and he scoffed, looking up at her in disgust. 

“ _I_ was there. I…should have stopped him.” 

“Mulder is… _was,_ Jesus…” She took a deep breath and let it out, shaking her head through her tears. “He was hard headed and stubborn. You couldn’t have stopped him.” Again, she choked back a sob at the use of the word _was_.

“I’m still sorry. If I could change things… If I could take his place…” She shook her head and reached for his hand. He took it and squeezed, both of them quiet as they shared their grief. 

_______________________

Two weeks after the funeral, she sat with her mother in a lawyers office, listening to the reading of Mulder’s will. Everything he had, he had left to her: a large sum of money along with the storage facility he’d had for a few years. Hearing the enormity of it all was overwhelming and she tuned it out, not wanting to think of his worth in assets and numbers. 

She thought instead of the weekend they had spent at his mother's house after she had died. It had been some time and a chore he kept putting off, but eventually needed to finish. She had offered to help and he gladly accepted. 

Until they had stood in the middle of the living room and looked around. 

“I… it’s a lot. I suppose that’s why I’ve been putting it off. You… I should have thought of it before asking you to waste your weekend here,” he had said, his head down.

“Mulder, you didn’t ask. I offered.” She had touched his arm and he had looked up at her. “I offered and I’m here to help in any way I can.” He had stared at her and nodded with a small smile.

They had stayed through the weekend, deciding what to give away and what to keep. Boxes of personal items were set aside to be taken to his storage facility. Everything that he felt no personal attachment to, was marked for pick up to be taken to local shelters in the area.

Sunday morning, when the house was empty, and the rental truck full of items for him to take to storage, Scully had said goodbye, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Squeezing his arms, she had walked to her car and waved goodbye as she drove away. 

Back in the present, she heard the lawyer ask her a question and she nodded, not sure what he had said, but wanting to get out of the suddenly stuffy room. She signed where she was told and she and her mother left the office.

On her way home, after stopping for a cup of tea with her mother, she made a split second decision and went to visit the Gunmen. The enormity of what Mulder left to her was weighing on her and she knew they could be of assistance. 

When Langly let her in, they were all standing there, smiling sadly at her. Asking how she was, she shook her head, and they nodded in understanding. They offered her a drink, some tea, and she smiled slightly with a nod, despite having just had some with her mother. 

Their cups held something stronger, whisky by the smell of it, and the fact that it turned her stomach. They sat at the table quietly, until she told them the reason for her visit. 

Taking out the paperwork from the lawyer, she handed it to Byers. The other two gathered around him, their eyes bugging out at the amount of money they saw written upon the paper. 

“I… I wasn’t expecting that, we never discussed it, and I… I know you guys can help me figure out what to do with it.” They nodded and Byers smiled sadly again as he placed the papers on the table. 

She finished her tea and stood up, with them following suit, and walking with her to the door. They stood there, each of them not quite meeting the others eyes. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly. Letting it out, she opened them, and found they were looking at her and she tried to smile.

“You three were the best friends Mulder had. I… I don’t know if he ever told you, not to that degree anyway, but you were.” She sighed heavily and shook her head, as her eyes filled with tears. “To me as well, because of Mulder… and because you are good men.” Her tears fell and she shook her head. 

Byers touched her arm and Langly sniffed loudly, lifting his dark rimmed glasses and wiping at his eyes. Frohike cried, his hand on his face. Nodding at them each in turn, she sighed again, Byers stating he would take a look at the paperwork and get back to her soon. She shook her head, telling him there was no rush, it not being high on her list of priorities or worries. 

Arriving at home, she walked into the apartment, took off her shoes, dropped her keys on the table, and walked into her bedroom. Pulling the covers back, she climbed into bed fully clothed and fell asleep, her body and mind exhausted.

__________________

In the late evening, one week later, a knock sounded lightly at her door. Rising from the table, she looked out the peephole and saw Byers standing there, a large yellow envelope in his hands, and a nervous smile on his face. Opening the door, she let him in, gesturing to the table. 

“Would you like something to drink? Some tea?” she asked quietly. “It’s about all I can stomach this time of day… or much these days, really.”

“Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?” he asked with concern in his voice, setting the envelope down. 

“No, thank you,” she said with a sad smile, touching his arm as she walked to the cupboard for another mug. “ _Did_ you want some?”

“Sure. Whatever you’re having is fine with me.” She nodded as she turned the kettle on and ran a hand across her stomach. The swell of the baby was just beginning to show, though she still tried to keep it hidden under her work clothing. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Agent Scully?” he asked quietly and she nodded slightly. “Well, not okay, I suppose. I just meant… the baby… If you need anything…” He stared at her and her eyes filled with tears.

“I am…” She shook her head and he nodded, gently leading her to a chair. She sat at the table crying, not worrying about her tears, knowing he would not think less of her.

He brought their tea to the table and sat down beside her. They were silent for a while, until he cleared his throat and she looked up at him.

“I…uh… _we_ I mean, well…” He looked down at the envelope he had brought in with him and cleared his throat again. “We all helped, but the money you asked us to take care of, well that’s always been more my area of expertise.” She nodded, sighing loudly as she looked at the envelope. She did not want to hear what he was going to say, but she knew she needed to do so.

“So, we actually… Mulder asked us for help setting up accounts in the past. With his money from his parent’s homes, he had large amounts of cash that he didn’t want to sit in just one account,” Byers said and she nodded, agreeing that it made sense. “We created a few, and then he had his main bank account he used. He would draw money from our accounts when he needed it, but mainly used his own.” 

“Right,” she said, nodding again, her eyes still on the envelope. 

“With his mother passing most recently, he must have kept the money from the sale of her home and used that as his assets with the lawyer. We hadn’t seen that money, so that’s what I have figured.” 

“Yeah… I didn’t know about it either. I know he sold the house, of course, but that’s not something I would think about, even though it is a lot of money.” 

“It’s actually a small amount compared to what we have set up for him.” 

“A _small_ amount?” she asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

“A small, large amount,” he answered with a small smile and she sighed, shaking her head again. 

“So,” he continued and she took a deep breath. “So, the information you gave us, I added it to the accounts we already had, plus I created a new one, just for you.” 

“So what do I need to do?” 

“Nothing.” 

“I don’t need to sign anything? To gain access to the accounts?” 

“Agent Scully…” He smiled and shook his head. “Have you forgotten that we’re hackers and paranoid people?” She smiled slightly, dropping her head with a nod. 

“On that subject, I don’t know if you knew about it, but Mulder asked us to create fake identities for both of you.” She looked up and frowned at him, shaking her head slowly.

“No. No, I didn’t know that,” she whispered.

“It was just a joke at first, something brought up as we hung out one night, watching some movie where the characters had multiple IDs. But… then he came over one night and asked us to really do it- just in case.” 

“When did he ask you that?” He stared at her and she thought she knew, but wanted to hear it confirmed.

“After… after you had been ill,” he said softly. “But, he made absolutely sure it was done and we had a few different identities after Antarctica.”

“What?” she breathed, sure it would have been a different time, closer to when they had crossed that invisible line and become lovers. “That… that was so long ago…”

“Yeah,” he said with a small nod. “He wanted to be prepared. He said he wanted the future secure because he didn’t want to lose you. Not again.” She gasped and covered her mouth, tears falling quickly. “Oh, I didn’t… Agent Scully, I’m so sorry.” He touched her back, almost hesitantly, and she cried harder. 

A few minutes passed before she was able to calm down, wiping her eyes on the paper towel he handed to her. They were quiet as she took a few deep calming breaths. 

“Thank you,” she whispered and he nodded silently. Reaching for the envelope, he opened it and took out the driver’s licenses and handed one to her. Looking at the name upon it, she laughed out a sob. 

“Ted Darling?” she asked and Byers laughed quietly, also looking at the license in her hand. 

“Yeah, he was actually quite proud of that one. Here’s yours.” He handed her another one and she shook her head. 

“Anita Darling?” Byers laughed again as she ran her fingers over her fake name and looked at the doctored photo of herself with black hair and bright green eyes. “He must have been really concerned, even for him, to go to so much trouble.” 

“ _I want to be prepared for anything._ That was what he told us,” Byers said. “You can imagine how we felt about that kind of project. We were happy to help out.” She nodded, picking Mulder’s license up again and staring at both of them. 

“I should let you get some rest,” Byers said quietly and she looked at him. Starting to stand up and set the licenses down, he shook his head. “No, don’t get up. I got it.” He put a hand on her shoulder and stood up, putting their mugs into the sink.

“There are passports in there too, as well as debit cards and credit cards. There’s also paperwork regarding everything I just told you. Do you have someplace you can keep them safe?” She nodded and he smiled with a sigh. “Okay, I’ll see you later then, Agent Scully.” 

“Thank you, Byers. For everything. I… I didn’t know he had done all of this and seeing it… well... thank you. All of you.” 

“You’re welcome,” he whispered, his eyes suddenly wet. Nodding again, he walked to the door saying goodbye again and shutting the door behind him.

She sat there for a few more minutes, looking at the other licenses and shaking her head. The Darlings, Hollands, McKinleys and the Maxwells – each identity was them as a couple, despite the fact they were not one at that time. 

_He didn’t want to lose you. Not again._

_I won’t risk… losing you._

“And yet, I’m the one who has lost,” she whispered. “I lost you. _We_ lost you. Oh, Mulder.” She shook her head, blinking back tears as she put everything back into the envelope except for the licenses of the Darlings. 

Taking them with her into the bedroom, she lay down in bed. Holding them in one hand, with the other on her stomach, she cried herself to sleep. She dreamed of the happy life Ted and Anita Darling would have had, away from any of the worries and fears that had constantly plagued them as Mulder and Scully. 


	2. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at work, Scully is feeling overwhelmed. Doggett is there to offer words of comfort.

_December 15th 2000_

She had been back to work for a week, the days blending together. Nothing interested her and walking away crossed her mind constantly. She could, she had enough money to take care of herself and the baby. She did not need this job… but she did. Needed it like the air in her lungs and the blood in her veins. 

She felt him most when she was in the office. There were reminders of him everywhere: a stray sunflower seed in odd places, Post-it‘s with his familiar scroll, a tie shoved into the bottom drawer of the desk, and books he had read and they had discussed.

The files in the many cabinets she guarded like a treasure, not allowing some of them to be investigated, not wanting anyone but Mulder to be the one to do it, knowing how ridiculous that sounded, even in her own head. 

She spent a lot of time in the office, Doggett there with her, watching, but remaining silent. When he was gone, she did not know where he went, his whereabouts of no concern to her.

The baby was growing and it was finally obvious to others that she was expecting. She heard their whispers, wondering if it was Mulder’s baby or if she had been impregnated by an alien. 

When she heard that the first time, she had made her presence in the elevator known, staring down the man who had dared to say it. He had mumbled an apology and the other passengers kept their eyes on the floor, but she had continued to stare at him until he exited the elevator.

After that, she stayed in the basement as much as possible, away from assholes and their rude comments. 

There was a lot of work she could be getting done in the office. However, the thought of doing anything to change the appearance of the room, made her feel anxious and tired. 

Instead, she simply sat in Mulder’s office chair, wishing that at any moment the door would open and he would be standing there, airline tickets in hand, ready to chase down some monster in a forest. 

But as hard as she wished, as many prayers as she sent up, he would never be there to pull her away to some tiny town in the middle of nowhere. He was gone and she was left to carry on.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed herself up and began to gather her things to go home, needing to leave before she started to cry. The office door opened and her heart stopped for a second, before she saw Doggett walk into the room.

“Agent Scully,” he said, smiling kindly at her. “You leaving already?”

“Yes. I uh…”

“Hey, no need to explain. I understand.”

“Agent Doggett-”

“Agent Scully,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “I understand. You lost someone you cared about. Someone you loved.” She swallowed hard, a lump suddenly taking up residence inside of it. “I know loss. How it takes a hold of you and weighs you down. That grief, that pain… well, if you pardon my bluntness, it really kicks you in the balls sometimes.” 

Her eyes widened in surprise and without any warning she began to laugh, something she had not done in a long time. She laughed and then she was sobbing with a hand at her mouth. He sighed with an apology, pulling her to him gently. 

She clung to him, unable to stop her tears. He rubbed her back, his touch soothing, but once more, not the one she wanted. Pulling back, he held onto her arms, looking into her eyes and nodding. Reaching behind him, he grabbed the box of tissues on the desk and held them out to her. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. She took another tissue and wiped her eyes again.

“Agent Scully… I don’t want to tell you what to do or how to… Jesus, how to grieve or move on.” He shook his head and sighed deeply. “I just want to make sure _you’re_ ready to be back. I’m not questioning you, just…”

“I appreciate your concern, Agent Doggett, but I… I need to be here. I…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I feel him here. It’s like…” She shook her head, tears slipping down her cheeks. “I feel like… like being here… it keeps him alive. I know that sounds crazy…”

“No, it doesn’t,” Doggett said softly and she opened her eyes. His blue eyes held such sadness, she knew he truly did. “I understand why you want to be here… I just worry about _you_.” He glanced down at her stomach and she nodded, wiping at her eyes once again.

“I thank you, but I am… well, not okay, but…” She shrugged and attempted to smile, though she knew she failed.

“Yeah, I gotcha. You go ahead and get going, don’t mind me.” He smiled and she nodded. “You’ll be back Monday?”

“No. Actually I’m off until after the holidays. I just… there is truth to what you’re saying. And… although I do feel I need to be here, I could do with just a bit more time.” She took a deep breath and stared at him. 

“Sounds like just what the doctor ordered,” he said with a smile, his hands outstretched and she nodded. Throwing out the tissues in her hand, she looked back at him and exhaled. 

“Well, I’ll see you after the new year, Agent Doggett. I hope your holidays are… have a good holiday.” She stuck out her hand and he took it, holding it with both of his own.

“I’ll see you soon, Agent Scully.” 

“Yes, you will, Agent Doggett.” She squeezed his hand and let go, picked up her things and walked out the door.

________________________

_December 22nd_

“Thank you for dinner, Mom,” Scully said, starting to stand up, intent on gathering the dishes and bringing them into the kitchen.

“No, Dana. I’ll get them. You just sit.” Her mother picked up the plates, rubbing Scully’s shoulder as she walked past her and into the kitchen.

Scully sighed and stood up from the table, rubbing at her belly as she walked over to her mother's couch. She closed her eyes as she relaxed back, taking a deep breath as she continued to rub her belly, the scent of cinnamon invading her senses.

Shaking her head, she felt tears slipping from her eyes and she wiped at them quickly, wanting them to stop. Of course that was not going to happen, the tears hitting her hard in unexpected bursts. At least she was at her mother’s tonight and she would understand.

“Oh, honey,” her mother said and Scully opened her eyes, her mother’s kind smile causing her to cry harder. 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Scully said, her mother's arms pulling her close. She held onto her, her tears falling faster.

“Don’t apologize, Dana. You have nothing to apologize for, nothing at all. Fox is, was… He was…” And then her mother was crying as they held one another.

When they had both quieted, her mother silently stroked her hair. Scully took a deep breath and wiped her eyes.

“I miss him so much, Mom. I had… I had my faith that he would be okay. That something would… I don’t know. Then people started coming back… and... why couldn’t he have come back? _Alive_? Why couldn’t I have that? Why did he have to die?”

Her mother held her again as she cried, the baby moving inside of her, causing her to cry harder. It was beyond unfair. After all this time, the belief she would never have a child, and now… now she would face it all alone. 

“I know, honey. I know how it hurts. It’s not the same, no grief ever is, but… I know the feeling of loss.”

“I know you do, Mom. How did you ever get past it?”

“I don’t think you ever truly do. I never have. It’s always there, waiting to rear its ugly head when we least expect it.”

“That’s comforting,” Scully stated sarcastically, shaking her head with a sigh.

“I know,” her mother said and they feel silent again, the smell of cinnamon once again filling her senses. 

“Mom, I can’t be here for Christmas this year. I just can’t.” Her mother squeezed her hand and nodded in understanding. 

“We could go someplace together,” her mother suggested, and Scully shook her head.

“I don’t want to ask that of you. The house is already decorated and you need to be here, for the kids and Bill.” 

“They would understand,” her mother said quietly, and Scully shook her head again, the decision made. 

“Thank you, Mom, but no.” Her mother nodded, rubbing her back as they once more fell silent. 

___________________________

She spent the majority of Christmas Eve in bed, sleeping, and with no energy to get up. Being pregnant tired her out, and adding grief on top of it, she felt exhausted the majority of the time. 

Finally getting up in the late afternoon, she sat on the couch and attempted to watch a movie. Everyone was far too happy and cheery, even during the saddest parts of the movie. She shut it off with a sigh, ready to head back to bed. 

A hard, loud knock at the door startled her, and she stood to her feet to see who it could possibly be. Frohike stood at her door, swaying on his feet, and nearly toppling in when she opened the door. He smelled of whisky, his eyes bloodshot and sad. 

“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly and she sighed, grabbing his arm and leading him to the couch. 

She made him some coffee and brought it over, sitting beside him. He sighed heavily, leaning forward to grab the mug. 

“Langly and Byers usually go away and visit friends or some family. They even go on these pilgrimages, to... I don’t know where. I don’t usually care, but this year…” He shook his head and she nodded in understanding. 

“I thought… I figured you might not be up for festivities this year either and I took a chance you would be home. I didn’t want to be alone this year and thought maybe you wouldn’t either.” He looked at her and she smiled, a true smile and took his hand. 

He squeezed her hand and then suddenly he was crying softly. His tears brought on her own and they sat together, holding hands in the silence of the room. 

When his watch beeped at midnight, she squeezed his hand and wished him a whispered merry Christmas. He nodded, telling her the same.

“You should stay the night,” she said and he nodded his thanks. Squeezing his hand once more, she stood up and got a couple of blankets for him, bringing them back to the couch. 

When she left the bathroom she could hear him snoring loudly, and it made her smile. It was loud, yes, but it was comforting, reminding her that she was not alone. 

In the morning, she woke up to a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. After using the bathroom, she walked in to find Frohike at the stove mixing something in a pan. Glancing over at her, he nodded with a small smile. 

“Huevos rancheros, but without too much spice. Don’t want Junior there giving you any undue grief later.” She smiled as she stepped forward and looked at the ingredients sitting on the counters. 

“I didn’t have anything like this in the refrigerator.” 

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “No, I went out earlier, finding a small shop open and I got the necessary items. I wanted to thank you for letting me stay last night and well… my huevos rancheros are quite famous.” He smiled at her and she smiled back. 

Coffee, orange juice, and tea were on the table as he placed their plates down and sat down to her right. 

“I need to apologize for the state I was in last night.”

“No. Don’t apologize,” she said, echoing her mother's recent words. “You, me, all of us... we have nothing to apologize for.” 

He nodded and she smiled at him. Picking up his fork, she did the same as she looked down at her plate. Taking the first bite, to her joyful surprise, she discovered she had an appetite again, her mouth watering as she raised her fork and took another bite. 

She cleared her plate and even asked for a second helping. 

Famous huevos rancheros indeed… 


	3. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chance encounter, leads to a meal and some much needed bonding.

_Mid-January 2001_

When she had first come back, she had felt being there would keep him alive. The possibility of him coming back, regardless of her knowledge that he would not, had been very strong. She knew it would not happen, but she had held onto that hope. 

Now as she moved around the office, it had a different feel to it. She still felt him everywhere, how could she not? But now, where before it hurt, it felt comforting to her. She did not believe in ghosts, as she had told Mulder before, but she felt that if she did, she would find his hanging about in there. 

She would not admit it to anyone but herself, but she could almost hear his laughter, see his face when she shot down his theories, and his look of astonishment when she actually agreed with him. 

There were also spots in the room that made her heart race, remembering the feel of his lips on hers; a forbidden kiss which had led to more, though they had agreed to remaining professional while at work. 

That thought had gone out the window when he lifted her and carried her to a hidden corner in the office. His fingers had slid beneath her skirt and there was no chance she would have stopped it from happening, despite being at work in the middle of the day. He was like a drug and she needed him, craved him. Her nails had scratched at his neck and he had seethed, raising his head to look at her, his eyes full of fire.

Just that once they had pushed the boundaries and no one knew it but her, her cheeks flushing as she stood in that spot.

There were many spots around the room that were simply _his_ and she would not dream of changing it. But there were some changes recently. 

As she was now unable to properly contribute to field work, and definitely unable to chase down a suspect, she had been put on desk duty. Never had she been more happy to be stuck at a desk than she because of the ever growing child inside of her. 

As a result of spending more time in the office, the files were organized and arranged in a more efficient way. Books were put away and the room de-cluttered, but only to a point. The office would not be its true self if it was not a little cluttered and slightly chaotic. 

And the pencils in the ceiling… those would stay there until the very last one fell. 

Doggett was gone a lot, pursuing leads and looking into cases, and for that she was thankful. She liked being alone in the office. When others were in the room, it felt as though the magic surrounding it was gone. 

She knew Mulder would have loved to hear her scientific explanation for that feeling, but she did not have one. It was simply a feeling. When others were around, she did not sense him as much, as though he only made himself known when she was alone and she preferred it that way. 

One Friday afternoon, there was a knock on the office door, startling Scully as she was gathering her things to leave for the weekend. 

“Come in,” she called and the door opened. 

“Oh, Agent Scully,” Agent Reyes said, as she stepped into the room. “I… I was looking for Agent Doggett. I was in town and he had called recently so I was going to see if he wanted to catch up.” 

“I’m sorry, Agent Reyes, I am not entirely sure where Agent Doggett is at the moment.”

“Hmm. Well… how would you like to join me for a late lunch/early dinner?” she asked with a smile. 

“I was actually just heading out myself,” Scully said with a small smile. 

“Could I possibly interest you in eating something before you head out to wherever you are going?” She was so earnest, Scully could not help but agree. Agent Reyes grinned, turned around and walked out the door, Scully locking the office door behind them. 

They walked to a popular diner a few blocks down from the bureau. As they sat down, Agent Reyes smiled at her and looked down at her stomach bumping into the table. 

“How is the pregnancy going? Are you having any cravings?” she asked after they had ordered their drinks. 

“Hmm… Peanut butter. In any form.” They both laughed and Agent Reyes nodded. “And yogurt. Cherry yogurt specifically, which is odd as I don’t really like cherry things.” 

“I had a friend who was pregnant,” Agent Reyes said. “All she wanted to eat every day was cheese. And gummy bears. Wow, I had forgotten about that. But the cheese… she had so many kinds and would eat it constantly. After she had the baby, she declared she would never again eat a piece of cheese. I don’t think she ever has and that was… six years ago.” They both laughed again and Scully sighed with a hand on her stomach.

“I’m not sure I’ll feel the same about peanut butter, but _hopefully_ I will about the cherry yogurt.” Agent Reyes smiled at her with a chuckle, as the waitress walked up to take the order. 

As she walked away, Agent Reyes looked at Scully and something about it felt different.

“How are you doing? _Really_ doing?” she asked and Scully nodded, looking down at the table and tracing the crack she found in it. 

“It’s been hard. Really hard, but… I’m doing better than I was, and there are times that that makes me feel worse.” She looked up at Agent Reyes, who smiled with a nod. “Like right now for instance. This feels so normal, but then…” 

“You’ll be hoping to find a bathroom to disappear into before you break down?” 

“Exactly,” Scully said softly, nodding her head. “I’m not normally an overly emotional person… but…” 

“Agent Scully,” Agent Reyes said, smiling softly. “You’re _pregnant_. That on its own is enough to cause a person to be emotional. You’re also still grieving. Combine those two, of course you're more emotional than usual.” Scully sighed and nodded, reaching for a napkin, and dabbed her eyes. Agent Reyes reached for more, handing them to her with a nod.

Their food arrived shortly after and discussion turned to lighter topics. When they were finished, Agent Reyes insisted on paying as she was the one to suggest getting something to eat. As they left the diner, Scully smiled as she turned to her.

“Thank you for the meal. I… I don’t have many women in my life, honestly… not any really. It was nice spending time with you today.” 

“It was my pleasure, Agent Scully. I was happy to be able to see you under better circumstances.” Scully smiled and then to her surprise, Agent Reyes pulled her into a tight embrace. She closed her eyes and hugged her back, before letting go and stepping back.

“I hope you have a good weekend, Agent Scully.” Agent Reyes stepped back, smiling as she waved goodbye, leaving Scully standing on the sidewalk. She waved back and took a deep breath.

Walking back to the parking garage, she got into her car to begin, once more, the long journey to North Carolina where she would spend the weekend, visiting Mulder’s grave and decompressing from the past few days at work. 

The first couple of times she had driven down, she had terrible dreams. Dreams where she was running, running so fast through the woods, as she tried to reach Jeremiah in time. But, doors were locked and crowds of people stood around, blocking her way and stopping her from reaching the room in which she had left him. 

Then there were dreams when she _did_ reach the room and as she finally opened the door, Jeremiah disappeared in front of her eyes. Evaporating like smoke in the wind. 

Those were the nights when she had woken up gasping, clutching at her chest, unable to catch her breath. So close. She had been so close. 

Those were the worst nights, when she had to question if the trips to visit him were not causing her more harm than good. 

And yet… as she drove home, feeling drained and exhausted, she would promise to be back as soon as she could. _He_ was not there, not really, but she needed to be where his body had been laid to rest. 

She had made him a promise and she intended to keep it. 


	4. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miracles do happen and Fox Mulder is living proof.

_“Get out while you can, Agent Doggett… or you may never get out at all.”_

Scully thought of her words to Doggett as she drove home. She both wanted and did not want him to take the offer from Kersh. He was right… without her down there, and Mulder now gone… Well, who would miss the weird alien hunters in the basement? 

Shaking her head, she tried to put the idea out of her head, looking forward to a bath when she got home, needing to relax for a bit, the baby feeling extra heavy today. 

Those plans went out the window however, when she opened her door and discovered that her mother was there making dinner for them. It was a recipe she had found in a maternity book, she said, something healthy that was good for both her and the baby. Scully smiled, giving her mother a side hug, reaching for the plates and setting them on the counter. 

“Dana,” her mother said as they finished eating, and she knew that whatever she was about to say, she had been thinking about for a while. “I know you don’t want to talk about it much, but we need to start planning some things.” She stared at her and Scully nodded with a sigh, knowing she was right. 

They got up from the table and walked to the spare room, discussing how they would turn it into the baby’s nursery. Her mother seemed happy and excited as she began to make plans on where to put the crib and a rocking chair. But then her voice trailed off, her eyes becoming sad, and Scully knew she was thinking of Mulder. 

Though she had not said for certain, she knew her mother had to know that this was Mulder’s child she was carrying. There could be no other explanation, not one she wanted to think of anyway. This child was a miracle. A miracle they had created together. 

Looking at her, her mother sighed and tried to smile happily, but Scully saw the sadness behind it. Going over to her, she hugged her and thanked her again for dinner, both of them holding on a second longer and letting out a sigh.

“I should be going,” her mother said, pulling back and holding Scully’s face in her hands. “It needs to be done, yes, but we have time.” Scully nodded and smiled softly.

“I know, Mom. It’s just…”

“I know, honey. I do.” She kissed Scully’s cheek and brushed her hair back, her eyes wet.

They walked out of the bedroom and her mother started to clean up until Scully stopped her, shaking her head with a soft smile.

“I got it, Mom, you go on. It’s getting late.” They said goodbye and Scully walked back into the kitchen. Putting away the leftovers, she washed the dishes, and then wiped down the counters and the table.

Rubbing her hand over her stomach, she closed her eyes, imagining Mulder there with her. She could hear him laughing over something, his hand under hers as she guided it to feel the baby moving, and the happy look he would have in his eyes.

“Oh, Mulder,” she whispered, taking a shaky breath. Opening her eyes, she turned off the kitchen lights and walked into the bathroom.

Forgoing a bath, she got ready for bed, rubbing her stomach again, the baby moving around a lot. Taking out one of Mulder’s shirts from a drawer, which she had taken from his apartment, she put it on and got into bed. 

Taking a while to find a comfortable position, she slept fitfully, getting up a couple of times to use the bathroom, the baby rolling and twisting inside of her.

“What’s going on, sweetie? Why can’t you settle tonight?” she asked, trying once more to get comfortable. “Just rest for a bit, okay?” She closed her eyes, the baby thankfully quiet within her.

Taking a deep breath, she fell asleep, dreaming of Mulder and his excitement over the baby, the many colors he would have picked out for the nursery, and how overprotective he would have been.

The ringing of the phone woke her. Skinner’s voice, hesitant and worried, made her heart race, the baby once more rolling inside of her. Words floated around, her head spinning and her breath catching. 

Mulder. Exhumed. Possibly alive. 

_Alive._

She dressed hurriedly, tears filling her eyes, needing to be there, but terrified of what she would find. Stepping into the bathroom, she stared at herself in the mirror, placing a hand on her mouth and one on her stomach, as she shook her head.

 _Please_ , she thought. _Please..._

She did not remember the drive, or the walk inside the hospital. But she remembered the way her heart raced and the baby continuing to roll around inside of her. Walking in the door, she saw Skinner halfway down the hall, and the look on his face made her heart stop.

"Is it true?” she demanded, walking as quickly as she could to him. 

“Slow down.” 

“No. I want to see him.”

“I know you do…”

“No, I need to see him, damn it!” she said, hitting his chest to make him listen to her. 

“You're not going in there.” He grabbed her arms, stopping her from going further. “Scully, you can't.”

“Tell me it's true. Tell me,” she whispered, desperate to hear the truth. 

“I don’t know what to believe right now. I… Dana, if I’m wrong, if this was…” 

“It wasn’t. Not if he’s…” 

“I don’t know. I…” She looked at him and her heart sank. “They are in with him now, but I just… Dana, I don’t know.” 

She stepped back, her hands folded against her mouth and she prayed. Prayed that Skinner was right. Prayed that this was not for naught and that Mulder was… 

A door opened and she looked up, seeing Doggett walking out of the room. Putting a hand on her stomach, the baby once more moving quickly, she walked toward him. 

“What did they say?” She stared at him, but he did not answer. “I need to see him.” 

“I know... but I wish you wouldn't,” he said softly, and for a moment, she thought of heeding his words. But only for a moment. 

Opening the door, she paused just inside the doorway, her legs feeling like lead as she walked into the room. Everything seemed to freeze, her breath, her heart beating, even the baby, who had been so wild a second ago, now calmed as she walked over to Mulder lying in the bed.

Placing her hand on his chest, she felt what she had only dared to dream; the warmth of his skin and the beating of his heart.

Unable to hold back her tears, she laid her head onto his chest, hearing and feeling the study reverberation of his heartbeat as she had done so many times.

She felt her own heart begin to beat again, breath once more filling her lungs as she cried into his chest. She could smell the antiseptic scent of the hospital in the fabric of his gown, heard the beeping of the monitors, and felt the ventilator breathing for him, his chest rising and falling. 

Under it all however, she felt something she had thought was gone forever. Something she thought she had buried in the ground with him.

Faith.

As she held him tighter, her tears soaking his skin and her face, her faith in another miracle was restored.

He was alive.

 _Alive…_


End file.
